Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
