remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
