And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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