i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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