At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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