haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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