Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize