At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I could make wine with my vomit
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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