I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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