I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
