tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
