My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
