I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
