My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
