who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize