I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
do herpes really smell.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
These tits shall not be calmed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
