Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
