similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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