A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
