She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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