Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
