How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
