just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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