butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
