Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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