Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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