my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
