I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
