I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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