And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
no, he came in my armpit
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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