let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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