btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
