Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
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I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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