I think I just saw someone hide a body.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
