weddingsv make me drug and hornr
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
