I'm going to rape someone's good day.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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