She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
