john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
