I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
