I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
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I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
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We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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