I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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