we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
