Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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