dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
