I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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