This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
