My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
