i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize