I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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