I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
