break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize