I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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