I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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