I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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