You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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